step 1
This project all started with an idea. My idea was to focus the work of this semester on recording memories. Back in August of 2015, I was feeling particularly overwhelmed with change in my life. This feeling was mainly induced by the death of my dog, among other things. I decided that the only way for me to suppress these feelings was to start getting the memories out of my mind and onto paper. I knew that if I started to document my memories, then I wouldn't have to worry so much about the retention of those memories within the ever-changing realms of my mind. In end, the re-purposing project served as a platform for me to learn more about myself and to have written proof of those discoveries. I did this by applying an alma mater that I wrote with five others in the summer of 2015 to the realities of my life. And through doing this, I was able to formulate conclusions on my past. But getting to these conclusions is a story in itself; some of which you can get a taste of below.
Above is the proposal that I wrote on my initial ideas pertaining to "project one". The proposal helped me to identify the contexts of my project and also to realize my motives as an influence of these contexts. Just below you can find the feedback that I received on these ideas in the form of a video recorded by Professor Naomi Silver.
Despite the clarity of my ideas within my proposal, I had soon thereafter wasted countless hours without direction to start this project. I was continuously restarting with hopes that any one of these starts would become permanent at some point. I soon figured that the best and only way to kick off this piece is to write a letter to my readers. And so I did. This letter can first be spotted as a creation within the third page of the above document. The letter stands as the official start to the many pages of text that follow within the final copy of the book.
step 11
step 111
After writing a letter to my readers, I was more confident in starting my story. At first, I was struggling with my plan to imbed song lyrics into my narrative. The staging of the lyrics seemed cliché and artificial. So my next move was to separate the two. I again avoided starting to write my story by further articulating the lyrics of the White Team Alma Mater song. These articulations can be found above. Eventually, I would merge these lyrics and analyses into InDesign so that I could put this writing in conversation with my life story writings. At this point in the project, I had no idea that my thoughts were about to transcend into a forty page book.
step 1v
So I finally got to starting my story. The content was choppy and not written in a way that made me want to come back and read it as a form of my memories, though. I wanted the text to become a lot more fluid and easily accessible. But above all, I wanted the story writing to read like a chapter of a novel; something that doesn't take a whole lot of thinking but that responsively sparks a lot of thought. This draft is a rough copy of what was about to turn into a fuller, more detailed body of text.
getting there
Above are my personal reflections of the work that I had done on this project thus far. The feedback that I had received at this point in my writing was as follows:
Naomi Silver: Nice start, Caroline! Looking forward to seeing how you end up shaping the piece, and possibly working in a theme like 'loss' or 'goodbyes,' as we discussed -- as well as the original song that provided your inspiration. One thing we forgot to do at our conference was for you to select a due date for the final piece. It can be any time before (or on) Oct 30 -- whatever makes sense for you in terms of the other work you have, etc. Would you let me know, either in class tomorrow or in an email? Thanks!
Wyatt Frank: Hey Caroline! Firstly, I want to assure you that at least from what I have seen, you are able to reflective, and this piece obviously showcases that. I’ll start by commenting on your foundational beginning, and the symbol of the tire swing. It is really interesting and really paints an image in the reader’s mind. Of you swinging in the open air of Illinois, attached to your family and your home life. Home life and your emotional connectedness to your family also remains fundamental throughout the piece. Summer camp is a way away from home, and that is an interesting thought in itself. You also use ideas like “real world life” to divide feeling and connection at home with the outside world. This piece is really powerful and you can actually feel the thoughtfulness pour out of your words. Obviously so much has gone into it, and the reader gets a sense that what they are reading is rare material. The more I read the more I felt as though I was getting to read something most people don’t - traveling through some of your most important memories. Through doing this, the paper definitely has the effect of making me think and reflect, on my own life and experiences because they are, in some ways, very similar to yours. Your audience is people, but people who are willing to read and think and have an emotional connection to it - people who are reflective, or maybe people who want to be but usually aren’t, like you said you are. For your piece, the first thing that popped into my mind was visuals. Not necessarily pictures of you, as this may make you uncomfortable, and there is definitely something cool about not attaching the words to any person that can be visualized, except maybe at the end, one the piece has already been read. But maybe a picture of the dog, or of the swings, or of school and home life. Things that can really help trigger emotions within your reader. I also think that while the ending is so good and so powerful, it may require some fine tuning in terms of structure and emotional pull (if that makes sense?). Certain things come together well, like the symbols of television, and treasure chests, and time with family or with friends, and different spaces you inhabit and the emotions that you have come to associate… but they do not all come together in the end. You actually do a really great job of tying most themes up, and I think this will just be a natural process as you go back and keep reading through it and perfecting it. Final questions: As you go back through, are there any memories that you remember that ou wish you could put in? Are there any moments where the memory is really interesting, but maybe does not fit into the piece because it does not push the certain themes you have emphasized? Did you choose certain themes of your life before or after you reflected on your life? That’s all I got!! Thanks, Wyatt
step v
step v1
Once I had a draft started on my actual storyline, I had more courage to go ahead and jump to the end of the book to write my acknowledgements. Writing these acknowledgements meant a lot to me and took some significant time to formulate. Everything had to be perfect in these writings because it was important for me to show each of these people how thankful I am for them and everything that they do or have done for me. But at the same time, it was so hard to step out of my speechlessness. Construction of the paragraphs and sentences had to be neatly edited so that no mistakes were apparently made. The last to my dog, Holly, was particularly important for me to get perfect. That letter serves as my goodbye letter to her. I still look back through that letter to reflect on her and our lives together. It brings tears to my eyes every time I read it. It certainly serves its purpose and that is a big enough of a reward in itself.
Above is my final draft of the actual storyline that found its way onto the pages of my final book. Getting here took a lot of reflecting, a lot of tears, and a lot of time. But when something this big turns out exactly how you had hoped it to, all of the pains prior can be deemed as worth it. For the final of this project, please click here. You can also revert yourself by clicking on the "re-purpose" tab above. The final draft is designed to put the lyrics of the "White Team Alma Mater" song in conversation with the plotline of my life story by placing one on the left side of the page and the other on the right. This format ultimately allows freedom of movement through the text as determined by the reader.
This project transitions me to the next class project named "re-mediate". After completing the documentation of my story and following the creation of my final letter to Holly (my dog), I had derived the idea to use documentation in order to preserve her story, as well. The idea transgressed into a photo book which required me to uncover my scattered collection of photos of Holly and to compile the ones that are particularly meaningful or cute in aesthetic in order to put together a well formatted book that would serve as a platform for others to reference in interest of remembering the dog by. I will finally print this book out and present it to my family as their Christmas present for this year. If you are looking to get to this project, return yourself to the home page and scroll down in order to learn some more about it or you can click here to be taken to the final draft of the project.